Yet another sleepless night; what weighs upon my mind and
occupies my thoughts? Discontent. Life
never seems to go how one wishes? There are always thoughts of inadequacy that
creep in and poison my mind and send it into a seemingly never-ending cycle of
analysis: why am I the only one who seems to care? Why is it that I am the only
one that is getting hurt and suffering from the inaction of others? Why can’t things work out the way I want them to?
Well isn’t that so self-centered and conceited.
Down, down, down we go into another pit of despair and
self-disdain. And like usual, I have to reel it all back in and set myself down
and say, “Why do I feel like this? What am I doing wrong?” and well the answer
is obvious isn’t it? I. Yes, I am the problem. Not ME (my person), rather the
mentality that follows the word I or ME. When we are self-centered, egoistic and
auto-preservative oriented there is always a bitter and distasteful savor in
our mouths. We can’t control anything and that will drive anyone crazy that is
looking for self pleasure and self gratification because nothing will turn out
just how we’d like it to. At least that is my experience with the matter.
When one feels poorly about a certain situation, often it is
self inflicted. In fact, I’d say that ninety nine percent of the time it is
self inflicted. It is all a matter of the mind, which is our greatest friend
and ally, yet can turn at the drop of a hat to be our enemy and captor. If we
learn to control our mind, we will in fact be able to control how we feel and
handle situations. Many people have told me that I am a very optimistic and
cheerful person. I wouldn’t disagree with that; from failing physic test
miserably to being scammed a fairly large sum of money (which I might say I did
not even have to begin with) these obstacles were not enough to keep me from
laughing. Who would laugh at such misfortune you might ask? Well someone who is
sick and tired of feeling sad. It’s a choice I have made and I refuse to go back to that dank,
dark hole.
An idea is like a seed. The longer we pay attention to it,
the stronger it grows. It requires time, thought and other ideas to feed off of
growing broader and deeper in complexity. In a day we have thousands and thousands
of ideas ebbing and flowing in our mind. If we entertain them they will grow,
taking root in our minds. If we choose to discard them and pay them no heed
they will be lost in the current of our thoughts.
One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure. One useless or seemingly stupid thought for me, may indeed
be a powerful and consuming thought to another.
Ideas flow like water, and unless a carefully prepared channel is dug
for them, they will ultimately spread all over the place having little to no
effect until they find (or carve) a channel in which to flow. So here’s the
important part: we can be the masters
of our thoughts or we can let our thoughts master
us. If we can constantly provide or carve out a path in which to channel our
thoughts we can control how we act and fell in almost any given situation. But
in contrast, if we give in to every thought that crosses our mind, allowing
channels to be formed in every which way throughout our mind, then we are
subjugated to them and we become their
slaves.
The thoughts we nourish ultimately define who we are and
will set us up for who we may become.
In other words, ideas are power: the power to liberate or
the power to dominate. An idea can
change to not only an individual, but also it can change us as a people. Ideas
can be a source of great wealth; innovation always leads to a lifestyle change
that sweeps across the entire world. But in contrast ideas can spread like
poison, causing dystrophy and decay to all that it touches.
Hence the disdain and discontent at my thought process and
the seemingly lack of control thereof. But I can still laugh, chuckle, and yes, even giggle at
those pitiful thoughts that will only plague me for a short while. So fruitless and impotent. But now with it
all once again under control, I am able to drift off to sleep; I am free again!
With love,
Will Glade
The one walking beside you.
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