Dolce & Gabbana, Tiffany & Co., Mercedes-Benz… I’d
imagine that most of you would recognize these names. What do they all have in
common?
They are all brands,
all labels.
Labels…
They are all around us. Our food, our T.V.s, even our dogs
all have names and labels associated with them. It seems to be human nature to
associate or to try make individuals fit into groups. It is just our nature.
This being the case, it seems almost impossible for us to maintain our own
unique identity among all of these definitions and titles. It is so easy to
fall into the trap of letting the world define who we are and what we should do
according to what it thinks is right. When the storm is ragging around us, it
is hard to stand.
And is it really that surprising that we try and group
everything and everyone into some sort of category? Since we were in cribs we
have been taught how to define and categorize things: colors, clothes and food.
We have draws for our socks, others for our underwear and we hang all of our
nice clothes in the closet. That’s just how it is in life. We need order.
Order is not a bad thing in our lives, in fact think of how
the world would be without certain types of order: government, religion, teams;
all of these things are necessary in some way or shape to help give order to
the world and make it a less hostile place.
Government helps to control the chaos which would reign in
an anarchical world. The form may be different depending where we go, and some
may be better than others, yet they all have the same underlying purpose: give
order to a world that tends to be disorderly.
Religion helps control our sense of morality: the difference
between right and wrong. It helps us define and govern our feelings on a lot of
subjects that should not be controlled by government i.e. moral issues like
consumption of drugs, abortion, and the definition of marriage. Whatever
religion that you may profess, it is there to help you maintain order in an
onslaught of different ideologies, policies and lifestyles.
Teams give us the
ability to pool resources in hopes to accomplish a common goal, in other words
a team is simply giving order to a group of individuals, optimizing their
talents and capabilities for the good of the whole.
All of these things are inherently good, but just as
anything else: too much order has a negative impact on society. When we seek to
constrain and impose a certain type of order over people we begin to limit
those very talents and traits that teams, governments, and religions should
strive to protect and maintain. Creativity can be stifled out with too much
order. Individuality is very important for society and for us as individuals.
There is a certain balance that should be maintained for society to be healthy
and thriving. This balance has a key: moderation. When we have a moderate
amount of all things, we can maximize the level of creative output in society
and individualism in society.
Individualism is not selfishness. Individualism is being
your own special self in your own niche. When we strive to bring together a
group of individuals, with their own unique capabilities and strengths, we are
able to produce truly beautiful and enriching things for society to enjoy.
Individualism is necessary for a successful cooperative community. If we were
all bakers, who would be the butcher? Or if we were all builders, who would be
our farmers? You see what I’m saying? We
need a diverse citizenry to have a successful community, whatever the scale may
be.
Now that I have outlined the importance of individual worth,
let’s talk about the way things really are. A world in which everyone is accepted and
appreciated is an ideal world, a world in which we do not currently reside. Unfortunately,
everywhere we go we are constantly analyzed, sorted, and categorized according
to the stereotypes of the day. We can’t
help it. Naturally we look at a person, and without knowing them we
say, “Oh
he’s a nerd…” or “That guy’s a jerk.” We seem so confident that our judgments
solely of a person’s appearance are a perfect representation of their
character.
This is why we need to be able to define ourselves by what we think and not what the general
populations believes we are. If we do not have a very clear definition or idea
of who we are and what our purpose is in life, then we risk being washed away
by the flow of names and titles that society imposes on us. “Where there is no
vision, the people perish…” (Proverbs 29:18) Unless we dig deep, and truly get
to know ourselves we will lose ourselves.
 |
| Left to Right: Will Glade, David McMasters, and Porter Urmston |
I’d like to share a personal experience to illustrate this concept.
When I was a freshman in college, I moved out of my house down to the dorms of
Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah.
As you can imagine those first few days are just filled to the brim with
new people and new experiences for everyone; and I was no exception. In the
first few days I met this kid from Bakersfield, California when a small group
of us decided to play basketball. I had no idea where Bakersfield was, nor did
I really care at the moment, I just knew that he was from Cali and the typical
California “bro” stereotype entered my mind.
As we began to talk we both found out that the other played
football for our high schools, and I began to talk up how good my high school
was (fortunately I now have little to no high school pride, for better or for worse)
and he was obviously skeptical. Anyways, the thing was we both gave off a
negative impression. I thought he was just another cocky jock that I had know
in high school, and he thought I was just one of those guys if you know what I mean (you know the kid that always
has to be right and better than others? Yeah there might have been some truth
to it at that time…). But after a couple of weeks we started to hang out
together and go to the gym to work out and we both came to realize that we were
completely wrong about the other.
In other words: I learned then that first impressions mean
nothing. Absolutely nothing. Porter Urmston (the kid from Bako, California)
became one of my best friends that year, and we still maintain contact today.
Just think about what would have happened if I never chose
to get over that stereotype I had in my head of Porter? I probably never would
have been his friend and I would have lost out on a great friendship. That’s
the thing about classifying people, it doesn’t work. We can change. We can be rough around the edges. We can give
off bad vibes at first because people don’t understand the way we joke and the
way we communicate. If we go around
trying to define who people are and where they belong we will rob ourselves of
many great chances to learn and grow from others. We need diversity in our
lives. Without it, we are going to be stuck in the same spot, with the same
mentality, doing the same things over and over without ever progressing in
life. I have met tons of people here in the USA, and many others from other
back grounds and cultures, and more than once have I judged incorrectly a
person’s character because of their first impressions given off.
Another example of an experience that has changed me for the
better: my mission in Chile. I can honestly say now, after having spent two
years in Santiago, that I was a little racist before I moved down there. I
would have denied it before hand, but now I can tell that I was completely
wrong and very judgmental against an entire race of people. How foolish this was. Now I can honestly say
that I love Latin-Americans. Los amo de verdad. My perspective has changed on
many issues (such as immigration) because I spent two years learning about
their culture and who they are as a
people. Had I decided to harbor a grudge or feeling of discrimination against
them, I would have utterly failed my purpose down there to love the people and
help them progress in life.
When we try to dictate what others can or cannot think, we
make the biggest mistake of our lives. There is only one person in this
universe that has the power to tell us what is right and what is wrong: God.
And out of His benevolence, He has allowed us to live according to how we wish
or deem correct. That is how we learn; that is how we are able to grow.
While in Chile I learned an important lesson: there is more
than one right way to do something. In other words, the absolute truth belongs
to one person and one person only: God. If I say that the only way to read a
book is from beginning to end, another person may believe that reading it in
sections (depending on interest) is better. Who is right? Can you assign a
right and wrong to this situation? Or even if there was a right or wrong way,
would that mean that it is ok for me to impose that way on the other person? I
believe that it is not right for me to obligate or force someone into a group
in which they disagree with its ideals. Whether it is right or wrong, it
doesn’t matter. What matters is that I permit others to act and learn from
their own decisions. I do believe that we should try and persuade them via
direct, open and respectful dialogue, but to obligate them would be wrong.
So after all is said
and done this is the message that I’d wish to convey: we are all different and
it’s ok. It’s ok that I like steak and my sister doesn’t eat meat. It’s ok that
my cousin loves country music, and I’d prefer to listen to Indie music. It’s ok
that my best buddies and I disagree many times on what kind of girls we’d like
to date. It’s all ok. If we as people could be just a little more
open minded, just a little more accepting of the person and not get so hung up on the ideas that a person has, society would be more cohesive and unified
and we wouldn’t have as many problems today.
So this is my challenge for everyone that reads this post:
try to be a little more accepting of other’s ideas. Go out of your way today to
understand another’s point of view and opinion on any given situation. Try and
love a person for who they are, and not what they do. I promise if we can start
to do this, one person at a time, the world will change; the world will be a
better place.
And lastly, don’t let others define who you are. Take a nice
look inside and try and see the potential that God has given you. No one is perfect, but we can all strive to be
better.
With Love,
Will Glade
The one walking beside you.
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