It is yet another sleepless night; mind racing, never
resting, just thinking. Sometimes I think too much; other times I don’t think
enough. People will ask me, “What do you think about?” The real question they
should ask me is what don’t I think
about? Life, love, politics, religion are usually among the things that occupy
my mind. And once I get started sometimes it’s real hard to stop. Hence, yet
another sleepless night, tossing and turning but unable to find that solace
that will allow me to drift off and find sanctuary in my dreams.
Life is hard, but if it wasn't it wouldn't be nearly as
enjoyable for us to live. The is a certain elation that one receives after
having struggled, fought, and finally triumphed over a struggle yielding that
great feeling of accomplishment. And once we have reached the summit of that mountain,
we always seem to have another, much higher, to reach right after. We are
always headed higher and higher, always climbing until we reach the top; although
we never reach it. Crazy. You'd think that we'd give up sooner or later but something just keeps pushing us on, so we might as well climb.
Love is truly the greatest paradox of all time. I can’t seem
to grasp it. You love to feel loved, yet often times it leaves us broken,
bitter, or befuddled. Is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have
loved at all? I still am trying to decide how I feel about Tennyson’s
statement; I’m thinking yes. I've decided that giving our whole heart is better
than holding back a piece of it in the relationships that we share with others.
It all comes back to being true and faithful to yourself and to others. If you
are always holding back something from others are you really being truthful in
your actions? Just something to think about… I have found that although giving
all of myself to someone can cause a lot of pain, it will allow you to forge friendships
that will be able to last the test of time; that is truly worth the pain and
sorrow. Trust me, I've experienced it firsthand and would not take it back if I
could.
But once you find someone to reciprocate that love, there is
nothing more beautiful.
Usually I refrain from talking about politics, but seeing as
it’s 6 am and I've slept two hours, what better time than now to talk about it.
What is it about politics that makes everyone so heated? Also why does it seem
to be that all of the good, idealists, the ones who truly stick to what they
believe, get left out of Washington yet all of the spineless, corrupt, lying politicians
are the ones who are making our laws? Does that make any sense? Look at the
state of our country. It is in bad shape whether you’d like to admit that or
not. I am proud to say that I am an Independent and hold myself aloof from the
major political parties, because really in the end they are the true problems.
Didn't George Washington state, “However [political parties]
may now and then answer popular ends, they are likely in the course of time and
things, to become potent engines, by which cunning, ambitious, and unprincipled
men will be enabled to subvert the power of the people and to usurp for
themselves the reins of government, destroying afterwards the very engines
which have lifted them to unjust dominion.”?
Well, that was prophetic… Wish we’d taken that more to heart
about 250 years ago, could have saved us a lot of pain and heartache. (P.s.
thanks big government for that 17 trillion dollar deficit my generation is
going to have to deal with… wait maybe we should just spend recklessly so that
our kids can deal with it, after all that’s what our parents did, did they
not?) Unfortunately, I don’t think this country is going to give much more for
much longer and we (my generation, the poor starving university students) are
going to have to clean it up. Oh goody. Thank you again, so, so much for that opportunity,
I can’t tell you how much I wanted to clean up others messes. Like I said I’m
going on two hours of sleep…
I'd better stop there cause if not, I'll say something stupid before I think about it.
Now onto better subjects: religion.
My relationship with God defines my entire life. What do,
say, and think is almost always rooted in that unquenchable fire of faith in
God. When all is said and done, I am really grateful for that relationship
because without it I’d be tossed about the waves of life without an anchor to hold
me in place, steady and firm. This world is full of confusion. People telling
you one thing, and then you hear the exact opposite from another. The reality
is that you can only rely on the truth and there are only two ways to find the
truth, revelation from God, and observations followed by a lot of trial and
error (personally I find it easier to just ask God, than to try and test things
over and over). If you are struggling to understand something, well just get
down on your knees and ask your Father, He’ll tell you the truth always.
Well I think that’s enough ranting and rambling for tonight.
Now, that you are all waking up to start the day, I think I’m going to take a
nap.
With Love,
Will Glade
The one walking beside you.
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