Change

   Today was a great day. You know that feeling you get when you roll out of bed and realize that it’s the beginning of a new chapter in your life, and the excitement/anxiety of not knowing what will happen? Today was one of those days. You just got that bounce in your step and you feel like you can do anything you want or be whoever you wish to be.

   New beginnings are like that. There is just such a relieving feel that comes with a new start. You aren't defined by who you were or what you have done, but those experiences drive you to become a different, better person. I know what it is like to want to just get out of a bad situation. There are countless times when I feel stagnant. Trapped.  Regardless of what I do, it seems that I am stuck in a downward cyclical spiral and cannot get out of it.

Photo thanks to: http://life.stjohns-church.co.uk

   It's in these moments when I feel the urge to “redefine” who I am and what I stand for. Taking a good, hard look inwards is always difficult, yet necessary, thing to do.  Why do these things always happen to me? What am I doing that keeps me pinned under this seemingly unmovable rock? How do I get out of this place where I’m trapped? I seem to ask myself these sort of questions fairly often, possible more frequently than a normal person should. But they always seem to end with me giving the answer that I really would rather not acknowledge, and sweep under the rug out of sight and out of mind. Unfortunately it's not until I am ready to confront these problems that I have, that I am able to break the cycle which I am in.

   There is a line from a popular song, All at Once by The Fray, that states, “Sometimes the right thing and the hard thing are the same.” The truth behind this statement is very profound and difficult to swallow at times. So often the things that drag us down repeatedly are the things we most want or enjoy in life. Just goes to show that all that shines isn’t gold. In other words, sometimes those things that we would build our lives around are the very things destroying it. Whether it be a dream we have always had, or a love we have dearly desired to flourish we must be willing to cut those things out of our lives in order to prosper and progress again.

   My own words are my own medicine yet, it is still unpleasant for me to swallow. “If only, if only…” that phrase is the downfall to which I cede. Sometimes false hopes and dreams are the worst poison or addiction. It isn’t until it is completely unbearable for me to carry that I finally make the necessary changes that I need to regain the life which I hope to lead. Isn’t that a funny tendency that we have as humans?

   In early October of last year I was complaining to a friend about how people, usually girls, fall for those who treat them poorly. I asked vehemently, “Why do people just keep crawling back to the thing that hurts them?!” and the friend responded and gave some reasons why, which in turn were insightful, but the greatest thing that I learned that day was an unspoken answer I gave myself as soon as the words came out of my mouth. “Well, why do you keep going back to the same place?” Salt to the wound, a dagger quietly lodged in my back. False hopes and dreams of things that probably weren’t happening for a reason greater than I chose to see, clouded out by things wished to see happen.

   The sad thing was that I just keep cycling through this emotionally draining situation, and I CHOSE to do so, regardless for myself and for how I felt, because I held on to that thing I wanted rather than doing the right and hard thing. It took me lots of pain and an unquenchable thirst for a new pace, a flow of energy, progression, really just something different that brought me to the realization of what I had to do.

   What I’d like to focus on now is this small and simple principle that uneasiness and restlessness are often indicators that we need to make a change in life. As soon as we can realize this, the better because we can then work up the courage to make those hard changes in our lives. The thing is that if we just start now, and we take a leap of faith and decide to act on those feelings, we will in turn realize that although hard, those changes yield greater happiness. If we are swift to make those changes, the quicker we will be brought happiness and pacify those feelings of unease that we get. In the Christian world we call this repentance, and I am so grateful for it.

Photo thanks to: asme.berkeley.edu

   This process of becoming better, of continually having a new day, a new start can be a very liberating process which will allow us to maximize the life we live to the fullest. It is a process that I have come to enjoy really, even though it has its hard moments. I know that it leads us to new heights, because I’ve seen how my life changes on a daily basis because of the changes that I make. It’s true that there is no height too great, or too hard for us to climb. If we put our mind to it, we will succeed. The trouble is sometimes realizing that the path we thought to be the easiest turns out to be the hardest.

   Don’t be afraid of course correction. I promise that it really is the best thing that we can do for ourselves, change of pace and direction can often unlock doors to pathways we would have never contemplated walking before. It can lead us to heights unseen to us now because of our narrow and limited view. Dream big, and when that’s not enough: dream bigger.

   My life has taken so many turns, but each and every one of them has been for the better and has lead me to where I am today.

   

So take the leap of faith. I promise you it is worth it.

With Love,

Will Glade

The one walking beside you.