Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Survival of the Fittest : Going Against the Grain

   “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” As this saying states, most of us feel stupid, or foolish when we find ourselves prey to reoccurring situations in which another harms us. Whether it be damage done physically, emotionally, finically, or to one’s reputation the pain is still there and we still have the same feelings of self-hatred for being so naïve and gullible. We have replaying thoughts of, “I should have known better!” or “I knew they were prone to committing those mistakes, why did I trust them?” and our peace of mind is disrupted and disquieted.

   And the funniest thing is, although we can’t control others and how they act, we still end up putting ourselves down even though we are the victims in the situation. When we begin to criticize ourselves we begin to be demoralized and depressed leading us to have a negative self image and revealing the lack of confidence that we have in ourselves. It leaves us exposed. It leaves us completely exposed to future emotional troubles and problems, which in turn cause us to sink further down in hole which has been dug.  But as Jesus Christ said, “the truth shall make you free” here is a bit of truth that I have found that has help to free me from emotional bondage.

   Again from the words of the Master, He said, “But I say unto you, that ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” This is completely and absolutely foreign to human nature and everything that the world would have us believe, as we have become a society built around the principle of “he who has the bigger stick wins”. And honestly, at first glance it’s true. Right? Those who are willing to work the hardest, do the most, and even sometimes use others when convenient are the ones with all of the money, glamour and presence. Well, I would propose the following: those who practiced what Jesus taught on the Mount of Olives will be forever happier than those who pattern their lives after the way society dictates how we should live life.

   The thing about holding grudges is that it is more toxic and caustic for those who hold the grudge rather than those whom the grudge is held against. There is always more damage done to those who dwell on the wrong, whether it is a grudge against another or one held over their own head. It is never good to harbor negative feelings in our hearts because it leads to an embittered soul and a hateful heart. We gradually begin to change, to scheme, to think of revenge and how to “get back at” the world and everyone in it. It rules our thoughts, our actions, and ultimately our lives; becoming a slave to that hatred and anger that has become en-rooted in the very fiber of our being.

   The idea behind turning the other cheek is forgiveness. When we forgive freely we are enabled and strengthened beyond our own strength and we are able to grow, becoming better people. It is a concept easier said than done, but if we will allow those feelings of hurt and pain escape us, we will be able to move on and live life. It is hard to keep such strong feelings from entering our hearts, when we felt such strong feelings towards those who committed the wrong against us. Hate is not the opposite of love; love and hate are both feelings of passion leading us to action. That is why those who we love the most can become those we most hate because both are feelings of passion, the only difference is that one has been poisoned by hurt while the other is nourished by selflessness.

   Forgiveness is the balm of healing used to mend the wounds that we inflict on one another. Forgiveness can help us to maintain worthwhile friendships that would have otherwise been destroyed by careless acts on account of both parties. Forgiveness provides families with the ability to love deeper after each feud or quarrel that we may have. Forgiveness has helped me to move forward, learning to live and love unconditionally regardless of the actions that people take. Forgiveness has truly made me free.

   Now I am not saying that it’s easy. In fact it is really hard, and it hurts A LOT. I feel as if constantly there is a nagging in the back of my brain, just itching for me to think about and to concern myself with, yet I give no heed to it because it only leads me to feel pain, anguish, jealousy, and anger. But that isn’t what I want in my life, so I choose to overcome. I choose to forgive and do all in my power to forget. Technically it is still all in there, but as long as I do not entertain those wrongs against me in my mind, allowing all the anguish to creep in, I have forgotten.

   I think that forgiveness is the key to developing charity, the truest and purest form of love that an individual can have. “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemingly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth; bareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” To me the only way that I can keep this sort of attitude, or permeate this kind of love, is by being quick to forget and easy to forgive.  After all, I truly believe that to be happy is a choice, regardless of the circumstances in which we find ourselves. 

Let us all be quick to love, quick to forget, and quick to forgive.

This is how we can be liberated from the yoke which has been placed upon us.

Always with love,


The one walking beside you

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