To the Weary and the Wanderer,
Today I learned a little more about how God must feel.
Someone that I love, that I care for deeply always seems to just be in the same
place. I look at them, I see their pain and anguish and I feel it. It consumes
me. I want to help; I wish I could just fix everything because, at least to me,
it is all clear. It all makes sense. The answer is simple, but it’s not.
We are not simple, yet it could be just that simple, but we like to complicate things; it is just human nature. God must look down, see His children crying and I would be surprised if he did not weep along with them. Why? Because He knows. He understands, it’s just all too clear for Him and if He could He would fix it all. He would wipe away our tears as we shed them and take us in His arms and whisper in our ear softy, tenderly, “It’s ok little one, it’s ok I will fix it, I will make all the wrongs right again.” But He can’t do that it would rob us of needed experience; He won’t because He loves us too much. How could He? What good would it do us?
Nothing. That’s why all He can do is weep. Weep when we are sad, cheer when we are triumphant, and smile when we are smiling; that’s what love is, unconditional and never-failing. So what do I do? I continue onward. I keep going, crying with those who cry, smiling with those who smile and celebrating the triumphs of the triumphant; always loving.
People ask me, “why do you waste your time?” I can only respond, “I don’t know.” But that isn't the truth, is it? I know why I put myself through what most would deem a self inflicted hell; so I just hold onto that knowledge and I permit it to grow ever stronger. I was down there once, was I not? I know what it is to be stuck in the same rut, sinking ever deeper into an impossibly deep abyss which we call depression. What would have happened had I not felt the love of my Father? Of my Brother? Was I not commanded to be like them? …
So I press forward always never looking back; resilience is my goal and peace is my reward. We all have callings in life, all different, all unique but all important to complete. Some travel down their paths that lay in front of them, others decide to stray down paths that are more common than others but we are always walking. There is a path less traveled, and it seems that I am compelled to travel down it. Not compelled by force nor fear, rather love. Love is what keeps me going. Love is what dictates the actions in my life. Love is what keeps me opening my heart to the sorrow and pain of others, all with the hope that I might lighten their load because they can’t bear it any longer.
But I can. So I drink that bitter cup, and bitter it is. Why would I drink the bitter when I could have sweet? The simple answer is that to me that which comes after the bitter is so much sweeter than anything else. That’s what He did, did He not? So I look onward, ever onward feeling that what they feel. Taking from them, at least a little of that which they seem unable to bare for much longer. Ahh, sweet alleviation they exclaim, not aloud rather with their eyes; those beautiful eyes, the windows to their soul.
That is why I cry with those who cry and love those who have no one to love them, because I needed someone to cry with and there was none. I needed someone to hold, to embrace yet there was none. It was mostly because of me and my own choices, but I was still alone, and only He was there for me.
So I know what hell is like. I've been there and back in a hand basket, and never again will I knowingly allow someone to travel that lonely road unaccompanied. I will walk that second mile with them because I can tell you that it is the longest mile. You ask me why? You tell me you don’t have to walk with me hand in hand down to this hell, for it is my path to walk. My answer: then what kind of person am I? How can I look Him, He who walked with me down this same path, in the eye and say that I refused to walk with another when He, not having to walk with me, willingly did so? If you can answer me how I may do that then I may consider it, but I know you won’t because there is no satisfying answer. So I choose to walk, because that is what He would have me do and I love Him; I love you.
We are not simple, yet it could be just that simple, but we like to complicate things; it is just human nature. God must look down, see His children crying and I would be surprised if he did not weep along with them. Why? Because He knows. He understands, it’s just all too clear for Him and if He could He would fix it all. He would wipe away our tears as we shed them and take us in His arms and whisper in our ear softy, tenderly, “It’s ok little one, it’s ok I will fix it, I will make all the wrongs right again.” But He can’t do that it would rob us of needed experience; He won’t because He loves us too much. How could He? What good would it do us?
Nothing. That’s why all He can do is weep. Weep when we are sad, cheer when we are triumphant, and smile when we are smiling; that’s what love is, unconditional and never-failing. So what do I do? I continue onward. I keep going, crying with those who cry, smiling with those who smile and celebrating the triumphs of the triumphant; always loving.
People ask me, “why do you waste your time?” I can only respond, “I don’t know.” But that isn't the truth, is it? I know why I put myself through what most would deem a self inflicted hell; so I just hold onto that knowledge and I permit it to grow ever stronger. I was down there once, was I not? I know what it is to be stuck in the same rut, sinking ever deeper into an impossibly deep abyss which we call depression. What would have happened had I not felt the love of my Father? Of my Brother? Was I not commanded to be like them? …
So I press forward always never looking back; resilience is my goal and peace is my reward. We all have callings in life, all different, all unique but all important to complete. Some travel down their paths that lay in front of them, others decide to stray down paths that are more common than others but we are always walking. There is a path less traveled, and it seems that I am compelled to travel down it. Not compelled by force nor fear, rather love. Love is what keeps me going. Love is what dictates the actions in my life. Love is what keeps me opening my heart to the sorrow and pain of others, all with the hope that I might lighten their load because they can’t bear it any longer.
But I can. So I drink that bitter cup, and bitter it is. Why would I drink the bitter when I could have sweet? The simple answer is that to me that which comes after the bitter is so much sweeter than anything else. That’s what He did, did He not? So I look onward, ever onward feeling that what they feel. Taking from them, at least a little of that which they seem unable to bare for much longer. Ahh, sweet alleviation they exclaim, not aloud rather with their eyes; those beautiful eyes, the windows to their soul.
That is why I cry with those who cry and love those who have no one to love them, because I needed someone to cry with and there was none. I needed someone to hold, to embrace yet there was none. It was mostly because of me and my own choices, but I was still alone, and only He was there for me.
So I know what hell is like. I've been there and back in a hand basket, and never again will I knowingly allow someone to travel that lonely road unaccompanied. I will walk that second mile with them because I can tell you that it is the longest mile. You ask me why? You tell me you don’t have to walk with me hand in hand down to this hell, for it is my path to walk. My answer: then what kind of person am I? How can I look Him, He who walked with me down this same path, in the eye and say that I refused to walk with another when He, not having to walk with me, willingly did so? If you can answer me how I may do that then I may consider it, but I know you won’t because there is no satisfying answer. So I choose to walk, because that is what He would have me do and I love Him; I love you.
Love,
The one
walking beside you.
This is absolutely beatiful Will. Thank you for this.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I hope it helped :)
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