Late Night / Early Morning Rants : Life, Love, Politics, Religion.

   It is yet another sleepless night; mind racing, never resting, just thinking. Sometimes I think too much; other times I don’t think enough. People will ask me, “What do you think about?” The real question they should ask me is what don’t I think about? Life, love, politics, religion are usually among the things that occupy my mind. And once I get started sometimes it’s real hard to stop. Hence, yet another sleepless night, tossing and turning but unable to find that solace that will allow me to drift off and find sanctuary in my dreams.

   Life is hard, but if it wasn't it wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable for us to live. The is a certain elation that one receives after having struggled, fought, and finally triumphed over a struggle yielding that great feeling of accomplishment. And once we have reached the summit of that mountain, we always seem to have another, much higher, to reach right after. We are always headed higher and higher, always climbing until we reach the top; although we never reach it. Crazy. You'd think that we'd give up sooner or later but something just keeps pushing us on, so we might as well climb.

   Love is truly the greatest paradox of all time. I can’t seem to grasp it. You love to feel loved, yet often times it leaves us broken, bitter, or befuddled. Is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all? I still am trying to decide how I feel about Tennyson’s statement; I’m thinking yes. I've decided that giving our whole heart is better than holding back a piece of it in the relationships that we share with others. It all comes back to being true and faithful to yourself and to others. If you are always holding back something from others are you really being truthful in your actions? Just something to think about… I have found that although giving all of myself to someone can cause a lot of pain, it will allow you to forge friendships that will be able to last the test of time; that is truly worth the pain and sorrow. Trust me, I've experienced it firsthand and would not take it back if I could.

   But once you find someone to reciprocate that love, there is nothing more beautiful.

   Usually I refrain from talking about politics, but seeing as it’s 6 am and I've slept two hours, what better time than now to talk about it. What is it about politics that makes everyone so heated? Also why does it seem to be that all of the good, idealists, the ones who truly stick to what they believe, get left out of Washington yet all of the spineless, corrupt, lying politicians are the ones who are making our laws? Does that make any sense? Look at the state of our country. It is in bad shape whether you’d like to admit that or not. I am proud to say that I am an Independent and hold myself aloof from the major political parties, because really in the end they are the true problems.

   Didn't George Washington state, “However [political parties] may now and then answer popular ends, they are likely in the course of time and things, to become potent engines, by which cunning, ambitious, and unprincipled men will be enabled to subvert the power of the people and to usurp for themselves the reins of government, destroying afterwards the very engines which have lifted them to unjust dominion.”?

   Well, that was prophetic… Wish we’d taken that more to heart about 250 years ago, could have saved us a lot of pain and heartache. (P.s. thanks big government for that 17 trillion dollar deficit my generation is going to have to deal with… wait maybe we should just spend recklessly so that our kids can deal with it, after all that’s what our parents did, did they not?) Unfortunately, I don’t think this country is going to give much more for much longer and we (my generation, the poor starving university students) are going to have to clean it up. Oh goody. Thank you again, so, so much for that opportunity, I can’t tell you how much I wanted to clean up others messes. Like I said I’m going on two hours of sleep…

   I'd better stop there cause if not, I'll say something stupid before I think about it. 

   Now onto better subjects: religion.

   My relationship with God defines my entire life. What do, say, and think is almost always rooted in that unquenchable fire of faith in God. When all is said and done, I am really grateful for that relationship because without it I’d be tossed about the waves of life without an anchor to hold me in place, steady and firm. This world is full of confusion. People telling you one thing, and then you hear the exact opposite from another. The reality is that you can only rely on the truth and there are only two ways to find the truth, revelation from God, and observations followed by a lot of trial and error (personally I find it easier to just ask God, than to try and test things over and over). If you are struggling to understand something, well just get down on your knees and ask your Father, He’ll tell you the truth always.

   Well I think that’s enough ranting and rambling for tonight. Now, that you are all waking up to start the day, I think I’m going to take a nap.

   With Love,

   Will Glade

   The one walking beside you.

A Bittersweet Synphony

   Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

   I get it –at least in part— of why the Lord did what He did. It has become all too clear for me; if only I could explain it in words as well as I can feel it. It is a feeling deep within my soul, deep within my heart that one can only feel to know what it is like. I have felt it; I try to draw near unto Him and I feel Him drawing nearer unto me. I knock, and He answers; I have asked and He has given it unto me. If only I could give you this feeling I now feel, it is a feeling no one can feel unless they have taken up their cross and begun to follow Him.

   “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus Christ didn't just die for us; He dedicated His entire life to defining the path for us, leading the way for us and giving the light to us by which we could direct our lives. How great is His love! Should we not try and lead a life like He led? If we truly love someone we will give them our all; we will give them our very selves, just as He did for us.

Why? Well that’s what He has been teaching me for the past six months after having returned from the greatest journey of my life. Never would I have imagined that I could have learned as much –maybe even more— about the Lord after my mission (for those who might not understand what “my mission” means read Nobody ever said that life was easy it explains what a mission is and how it impacted me). I've seen what the Lord has in store for me in this life more in the last six months than I have seen before. He has broadened my vision and enlarged my sight. I am sure he tried to show me before, but I wasn't ready for it, I couldn't live up to it. But now it is all different. I feel the power of the gifts that He has given me; I feel the love that He has taught me, I feel closer to Him.

   During the mission I lost two years of my life for His cause, but in turn I found myself. I established who I would become in this stage of mortality because of the fact that I was willing to sacrifice for His cause. That being the case He took me, a lump of carbon and now, only recently, I am starting to see the clarity which is found in the “diamond in the rough”. We all have a purpose, and each purpose is different and equally important to God that we complete, that we live up to. I don’t know why, but I have been able to empathize with others, I am able to feel a deep love for all people, and because the Lord has given me that gift, He expects me to use it to benefit His other children. He expects me to lift the hands that hang low, to strengthen the feeble knees, and to help the heart that has lost hope.

   I know what it is like to feel helpless, hopeless and heartless. And let me tell you, it doesn't feel good. That is what inspired me to begin writing again. To begin to express myself and make known how I feel, so that maybe, just maybe I could reach out to those who were once like me: without hope, without direction. And because I was once without a sure direction in life, I have ever since sought to know the mind of God and what He wants me to do. I am a very religious person, and I can honestly say that my love for God is greater than anything else that is in my life. I desire to please Him in every aspect, and that has lead me down the path less traveled, the path to perfection.

   Now, you might say, “Well that’s silly, nobody can be perfect, it is impossible!” You are right. Personally I could never be perfect on my own accord, but with the strength and the love that Jesus gives to me, anything is possible. Anything is possible when we get out beyond ourselves and we include that Higher Power in our lives, allowing us to receive a strength beyond our own which leads us to make possible the impossible.

   But I have digressed from the point I wanted to make here. Today I learned why the Savior of all mankind drank the bitter cup. It just clicked; six months –possibly even more— of carefully planned experiences all leading up to this moment, the moment in which the sorrow was swallowed up by the joy that I felt after having received a letter from a very good friend whom I truly love. This friend expressed, that which they could in words, their gratitude for having met me, for me having help heal them. I wish I could share parts of this letter with you, but I feel that it would be inappropriate to do so in this setting, because it is something special to me, something sacred to me. But just know that the words expressed to me through the letter they wrote brought me a joy that rarely I have felt, in fact I have only felt when I was doing the will of the Father and not my own.

   The last three months or so with this person have been some of the best in my life, yet they have been some of the hardest as well. Seeing the one you love struggle never is fun, never is enjoyable; it is always hard and at times bitter. But having those whom you love tell you that you have helped them, that you have healed them, it is exhilarating, it is euphoric; truly it is something words cannot aptly describe. Those feelings are why Christ walked down the incredibly narrow and lonely path. I understand what it feels like, at least in a very small part, to have helped save someone.

 With Love,

William Glade

The one walking beside you.

The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth

    You know what I hate more than anything else? Lies. To lie, in my opinion, is one of the worst things that someone could do, whether it is big or small. Once someone starts to hide things from others, especially the truth, we begin to deal with darkness. Fear, paranoia, and animosity are just a few of the many feelings that begin to creep into our lives and our dealings begin to become more and more secretive, closing others out of our lives. To lie is to be without honor.

   Now, that being said the truth when not handled with care can be like a diamond thrown at our head. It doesn't feel good, not at all. But if presented with care, we are able to see the beauty that lies therein. So I am not advocating the careless and or thoughtless divulgence of the truth, because the plain and simple truth is: sometimes the truth hurts. Bad. So when handled with care rather than recklessness, the truth is able to help us grow and develop ourselves as people and individuals.

   Now you know what I hate even more than a lie? Fictitious or fraudulent people and hypocrisy. That to me, is even worse than a lie, because not only are you trying to deceive me and other people, but you are legitimately deluding yourself. And to me, that is the worse part. When you fall so far as to have to lie to yourself because of insecurity or lack of personal direction that you have to adopt a purpose that truly you don’t believe in, that is when I feel bad for a person.

   I am a very opinionated person, it’s true; I often times disagree with the opinions of those I associate with, but at least I know I hold true to my convictions, whatever they may be. And although I don’t see eye to eye with others about a lot of things, I can respect those whom truly fight and stand up for their convictions. That I can respect, hypocrisy and fraud on the other hand I cannot stand.

   If we can’t even trust ourselves, and what we preach, our “so-called” ideologies, then who can we trust? There is a quote once said by a leader of a Christian church, he said, “To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.” Wait, but isn't to be loved the thing that we would all like to have? Isn't being loved by others the reason for which we do everything? Friends, family, significant others, don’t we do everything we do because we love them and we want them to reciprocate that love to us? Well, yes, it’s true but the fact is that we can love someone yet not trust them. I can love a friend, but doesn't mean I’m going to trust them with my deepest and innermost thoughts or feelings. How many times has that backfired in your face? I know it has for me, and unfortunately I may have even been the one pulling the trigger once or twice in my younger years.

   But now I have realized what it means to me to be able to trust someone, and just as I expect my secret or better put sacred, thoughts and feelings to be kept quietly by those whom I chose to tell, I now strive to do the same thing because that is what a truthful, honorable and trustworthy person does. And because I strive to always do that, I feel fine in saying that I hold all others to the same standards that I hold myself. There is neither hypocrisy nor deceit in that, because I live the standards to which I hold others and I wouldn't have it any other way.

   So, that being said, while I strive to be the best, most honest, truthful and straight forward person I can be, I feel that it is fair for me to expect others to aim for the same standards. It doesn't mean that everyone and their dog has to see eye to eye with me, nor does it mean that I am immediately going to condemn all those who fall short and lie to me because that would be hypocritical of me and against my beliefs about forgiveness (see my other post, Survival of the Fittest:Going Against the Grain to read about how important forgiveness is to me). But don’t go telling me one thing and then trying to hide the TRUTH behind my back hoping that I will never find out who you really are. Because let me tell you a little secret I've learned with time: lying ALWAYS comes back to bite you in the butt. You can’t hide the truth forever. If you are a Christian, you believe in judgment day and believe me, it’s all coming out then. If you are a Hindu then you believe in karma, and we all know what they say about karma, she is a hard one to get along with.

   Or even if you don’t believe in God, we have a saying that teaches us about this, “What goes around comes around.” And for all of you scientists out there like me, Newton’s third law isn't just about physics; it is an eternal principle that not only governs forces, but our actions as well. For every force there is an equal and opposite force acting on the system; for every action there is a consequence that is inseparable with that action.

   So if you do something, do it with the conviction that you are doing it for a worthy cause, because whether you like it or not, that consequence is coming right back at you. And if you aren't ready for it, it’s going to be more than you can handle. If I choose to smoke, drink, and have unrestrained and reckless sex with whomever I choose, well I better not be complaining when I become an addict, drunkard, or find that I’m HIV positive. It’s simple: action produces reactions.

   I see daily people complaining for things that have happened to them, and honestly nine times out of ten the reason they are having problems isn't because God has cursed them or is punishing them for something they have done, rather the natural consequences of their actions are what have produced the pain and anguish. So if you aren't absolutely convinced that you are doing something for the right reason, I might suggest that you think twice before doing it, because if you don’t have that conviction the consequences are going to seem a lot worse than they should be.

   We all make mistakes, I've made more than my fair share in this life, but the thing is every mistake that I have made has helped me to grow and develop the convictions that I have now, and you can see and feel through this post. I didn't just start hating lies over night, this has been a long process for me, and honestly the saying “it takes one to know one” is very true in this case. I, as stated before, am not perfect and after a long period of time in my life in which I was without conviction, without truth in my life and basically living a lie, trying to convince myself that it was all ok. Those experiences have produce who I am today. Light and dark cannot coincide in the same space, and I now choose to walk in the light.

   Light chases away the darkness, and if so desired we can fill our lives with light, leading to the dispersion of that darkness that so tightly grips our society. Faith in anything is better than not believing in something. Hope is more powerful than fear. Light chases away darkness. The truth sets us free from the lies and deceit that lay waiting to enthrall us in its gaping jaws, binding us and enslaving us in its chains.

   So don’t give into societies pull. Don’t advocate that which you truly do not believe in, because reality is that you will fail every time. Trust me, I know, I've lived it personally and it isn't fun, nor is it enjoyable. Life is too short and too precious to waste fighting for a cause that isn't what you believe in or isn't who you are. Stand tall, be vocal about your views and about how you feel, because if you don’t you will always be unable to truly liberate yourself from the lies and the falsehoods that society forces upon us. We all have a duty, a God given right to exercise “certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”. That is what so many have died to defend, that is what so many have sacrifice to give us today, we should thank them by pursuing those rights and searching for that in which we can truly believe, something that is worth fighting for.

   So whether you agree with my views or not, at least do me a favor and believe in those views as much as believe in mine. Fight for those things, but don’t ever try and infringe on the rights of another to believe or hold dear a conviction which they have, because then you just become a hypocrite and a liar yourself. How can you fight for your right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness while robbing others of theirs…

   Now that just doesn't sound right to me, nor should it sound right to anyone who seeks the truth in all things.

As always, with love,

Will Glade

The one walking beside you.

*If you liked this post, please share it with your friends and family, and remember to subscribe to my blog! Thanks again. 

Survival of the Fittest : Going Against the Grain

   “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” As this saying states, most of us feel stupid, or foolish when we find ourselves prey to reoccurring situations in which another harms us. Whether it be damage done physically, emotionally, finically, or to one’s reputation the pain is still there and we still have the same feelings of self-hatred for being so naïve and gullible. We have replaying thoughts of, “I should have known better!” or “I knew they were prone to committing those mistakes, why did I trust them?” and our peace of mind is disrupted and disquieted.

   And the funniest thing is, although we can’t control others and how they act, we still end up putting ourselves down even though we are the victims in the situation. When we begin to criticize ourselves we begin to be demoralized and depressed leading us to have a negative self image and revealing the lack of confidence that we have in ourselves. It leaves us exposed. It leaves us completely exposed to future emotional troubles and problems, which in turn cause us to sink further down in hole which has been dug.  But as Jesus Christ said, “the truth shall make you free” here is a bit of truth that I have found that has help to free me from emotional bondage.

   Again from the words of the Master, He said, “But I say unto you, that ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” This is completely and absolutely foreign to human nature and everything that the world would have us believe, as we have become a society built around the principle of “he who has the bigger stick wins”. And honestly, at first glance it’s true. Right? Those who are willing to work the hardest, do the most, and even sometimes use others when convenient are the ones with all of the money, glamour and presence. Well, I would propose the following: those who practiced what Jesus taught on the Mount of Olives will be forever happier than those who pattern their lives after the way society dictates how we should live life.

   The thing about holding grudges is that it is more toxic and caustic for those who hold the grudge rather than those whom the grudge is held against. There is always more damage done to those who dwell on the wrong, whether it is a grudge against another or one held over their own head. It is never good to harbor negative feelings in our hearts because it leads to an embittered soul and a hateful heart. We gradually begin to change, to scheme, to think of revenge and how to “get back at” the world and everyone in it. It rules our thoughts, our actions, and ultimately our lives; becoming a slave to that hatred and anger that has become en-rooted in the very fiber of our being.

   The idea behind turning the other cheek is forgiveness. When we forgive freely we are enabled and strengthened beyond our own strength and we are able to grow, becoming better people. It is a concept easier said than done, but if we will allow those feelings of hurt and pain escape us, we will be able to move on and live life. It is hard to keep such strong feelings from entering our hearts, when we felt such strong feelings towards those who committed the wrong against us. Hate is not the opposite of love; love and hate are both feelings of passion leading us to action. That is why those who we love the most can become those we most hate because both are feelings of passion, the only difference is that one has been poisoned by hurt while the other is nourished by selflessness.

   Forgiveness is the balm of healing used to mend the wounds that we inflict on one another. Forgiveness can help us to maintain worthwhile friendships that would have otherwise been destroyed by careless acts on account of both parties. Forgiveness provides families with the ability to love deeper after each feud or quarrel that we may have. Forgiveness has helped me to move forward, learning to live and love unconditionally regardless of the actions that people take. Forgiveness has truly made me free.

   Now I am not saying that it’s easy. In fact it is really hard, and it hurts A LOT. I feel as if constantly there is a nagging in the back of my brain, just itching for me to think about and to concern myself with, yet I give no heed to it because it only leads me to feel pain, anguish, jealousy, and anger. But that isn’t what I want in my life, so I choose to overcome. I choose to forgive and do all in my power to forget. Technically it is still all in there, but as long as I do not entertain those wrongs against me in my mind, allowing all the anguish to creep in, I have forgotten.

   I think that forgiveness is the key to developing charity, the truest and purest form of love that an individual can have. “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemingly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth; bareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” To me the only way that I can keep this sort of attitude, or permeate this kind of love, is by being quick to forget and easy to forgive.  After all, I truly believe that to be happy is a choice, regardless of the circumstances in which we find ourselves. 

Let us all be quick to love, quick to forget, and quick to forgive.

This is how we can be liberated from the yoke which has been placed upon us.

Always with love,

The one walking beside you

Nobody said life was easy...

                Nobody ever said that life was easy, but I don’t recall them ever telling me that it would be this hard either. I guess it was designed this way for a reason, because if it wasn’t hard we wouldn’t be able to achieve that which is our potential as children of God. The Lord said that he would try us as gold and as silver, “The fining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: but the Lord trieth the hearts.”(Proverbs 17:3) So the question that we all ask one time or another in our lives: why does life have to hurt so much? What have I done to deserve this pain and suffering that, in the moment, is seemingly eternal in every sense of the word? Or, why is this happening I was making so much progress, why God, why did you do this to me?!

                Recently I have had a change of mentality and a change of heart towards the trials that we face in life. Yes, life is hard and it is unpleasant in many ways, but the Lord has His sight set on things of a greater consequence than we can even imagine. I recently came home after having served a two year mission to the people of Chile, as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, yet the easiest.

                 Let me explain myself. While one is a missionary they have a defined day to day purpose: Invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His atonement,  repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end. It is clear, it is plain, and it is simple. You sleep, eat and breathe the gospel of Jesus Christ for two years and there is nothing more you have to worry about. Yes, people are closed-minded to religion often times, and yes there is a certain degree of persecution that one faces while out there preaching repentance, but you are completely focused on others and their physical and spiritual wellbeing that you learn the greatest and most amazing lesson: to forget yourself.

                Now, I would suggest that this lifestyle is the hardest in the sense of overcoming human nature, but the easiest as far as being happy. There is no greater joy than helping someone repent and accept Jesus Christ as their savior and make a covenant to remember and serve Him for the rest of their lives. I would propose that “life” as we know it is the easiest as far as human nature goes, yet the hardest as far as being happy goes. Yet the world would have us believe as Christians, that it is exactly the opposite. It would have us draw nearer to mammon and distance ourselves from that one true thing that will and can make us happy. I had to learn this lesson the hard way, because like I stated in the beginning, nobody ever said that life would be easy after the mission, but they sure didn’t try to dissuade me of the false notions I had in my mind, that the mission was the hard thing to do and that “normal” life would be easier. What a foolish notion that was, and I have come to know all too well the veracity of that fact.

                Little did I know what journey I had embarked on when I left my home to go on my mission, but even less did I understand what I was about to return to when I stepped foot on that flight home. How can I explain it to those who haven’t been engaged in such an incredible experience? Those of you who have served a mission know exactly what I mean when I try to explain it, but the reality is that it is something you must experience to be able to truly understand. But, I will try to convey what it is like.

                 Say you are learning to play an instrument, say the piano. Now you spend hours and hours learning and practicing and performing all in hopes that one day you may be truly proficient in and have master the art of playing the piano. Now that is not a short time taken to learn such a skill, and much toil and strife is experience mentally, emotionally, and maybe even physically to do so. It has changed you, the very fiber of your being is impacted by the lessons you have learned while passing through the journey of learning to play this instrument. You begin to play small gigs: bars, restaurants, hotels, anything really  that you are offered. Now why? Well to get notoriety of course and reach one day the biggest stages that a concert pianist can reach. Well let’s say you reach that goal, and you play in Abravenel Hall, and you perform spectacularly, wowing your audiences night in and night out. Then, abruptly it’s all over. You were just getting used to the simple, yet higher life style that you were living and they ship you off to those bars and crummy hotels where you were playing before. The people there don’t know the difference, they haven’t been where you have nor have they seen or done what you saw and did.

                That’s what it is like in a sense. You work so hard to learn how to live a life dedicated 100 percent to others, and their understanding of the gospel, then you are ripped out from there and shipped off to a world that once was familiar, and that once you could have called home and greeted whole heartedly, but now you can’t, because now you are different. How can you give someone a purpose greater than preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ? It is impossible.

                That is why I can’t go back. I can’t return to who I once was because then all would be in vain. I have been changed. I have become more loving, more helpful, more of an altruist. So I continue down the path that is set before me. It is a path less traveled, whether it be because it hasn’t been discovered quite as often or the fact that it isn’t necessarily that easy of a path compared to the others we can choose, either way it is still less traveled.

                So I will end with the poem by Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


With Love,

The one walking beside you.

Fear

   Feelings of inadequacy, ineptness, and incompetence are just a few things among many that I fear. I fear fear. I fear fear and all of the detrimental feeling that it brings along with it. Fear is crippling. Fear is debilitating. Fear leads to inaction, which in turn leads to a loss of self-image, which leads us down the dark path to life ending depression. To end one’s life doesn't necessarily mean that we kill ourselves physically, but if we allow ourselves to give into fear, leading us to stop living life in its fullness, that also a form of ending life.

   Fear will not only take our lives physically if permitted, but it will also rob us mentally, emotionally, and spiritually if we are not careful. When we give in to adversity, fearing it, we hand over a piece of our ability to act freely. This renders us slaves to fear, binding us to it’s will, which leaves us helpless, hopeless, and heartless. Where there is no vision, the people perish. Where there is no light, there can only be darkness and despair. Fear is the opposite of faith. Fear leads to ultimately a full and complete extinguishing of that flicker of light within all of us that spurs us to push onward.

   So how do we overcome fear? Action. When we act in spite of fear, it shows true courage. When we do what is hardest for us, and we do it regardless of our fear and regardless of how we may feel in the moment, we take one step closer to liberty by taking off the shackles of “I don’t think I can…” replacing it with, “I know I can.”

   What do I fear? Rejection, disappointing those closest to me, pornography, looking stupid and foolish in others eyes, heights, all of these things I fear, BUT THEY DO NOT DICTATE MY LIFE! Rejection, how do I over come it? The truth. The truth will set you free, those who reject the truth are fools and at fault, so never fear honesty. Disappointment? The truth. When we tell the truth and admit to having done something wrong, we liberate ourselves from anxiety and guilt and allow the healing process to begin. Pornography? The truth. The truth about pornography is that it is despicable, disgusting, and detrimental to the individuals involved and the society as a whole. When we look at love in its true form, pornography is a sick and twisted imitation that falsifies love, confusing it with lust. Love is altruistic, lust is egoistic. Looking like a fool?The truth. The truth about people judge others, who mock and scorn is this: Fools mock, but they shall mourn. Heights? The truth. The more you confront them, the more you realize they cannot control you unless you allow them to, that is the truth.

   Faith is the hope for things unseen but that are true. How do we overcome fear? Faith. Where does faith come from? The truth. The truth has set me free, the light and knowledge of “I can” has liberated me from the falsehoods prevalent in our society that “you can’t”. You can, I know you can, because I could and I did. So come, take my hand, and walk with me. It feels good to be free.

Always with love,

The one walking beside you.

A letter to you...

To the Weary and the Wanderer,

  Today I learned a little more about how God must feel. Someone that I love, that I care for deeply always seems to just be in the same place. I look at them, I see their pain and anguish and I feel it. It consumes me. I want to help; I wish I could just fix everything because, at least to me, it is all clear. It all makes sense. The answer is simple, but it’s not.

  We are not simple, yet it could be just that simple, but we like to complicate things; it is just human nature. God must look down, see His children crying and I would be surprised if he did not weep along with them. Why? Because He knows. He understands, it’s just all too clear for Him and if He could He would fix it all. He would wipe away our tears as we shed them and take us in His arms and whisper in our ear softy, tenderly, “It’s ok little one, it’s ok I will fix it, I will make all the wrongs right again.” But He can’t do that it would rob us of needed experience; He won’t because He loves us too much. How could He? What good would it do us?

   Nothing. That’s why all He can do is weep. Weep when we are sad, cheer when we are triumphant, and smile when we are smiling; that’s what love is, unconditional and never-failing. So what do I do? I continue onward. I keep going, crying with those who cry, smiling with those who smile and celebrating the triumphs of the triumphant; always loving.

   People ask me, “why do you waste your time?” I can only respond, “I don’t know.” But that isn't the truth, is it? I know why I put myself through what most would deem a self inflicted hell; so I just hold onto that knowledge and I permit it to grow ever stronger. I was down there once, was I not? I know what it is to be stuck in the same rut, sinking ever deeper into an impossibly deep abyss which we call depression. What would have happened had I not felt the love of my Father? Of my Brother? Was I not commanded to be like them? …

   So I press forward always never looking back; resilience is my goal and peace is my reward. We all have callings in life, all different, all unique but all important to complete. Some travel down their paths that lay in front of them, others decide to stray down paths that are more common than others but we are always walking. There is a path less traveled, and it seems that I am compelled to travel down it. Not compelled by force nor fear, rather love. Love is what keeps me going. Love is what dictates the actions in my life. Love is what keeps me opening my heart to the sorrow and pain of others, all with the hope that I might lighten their load because they can’t bear it any longer.

   But I can. So I drink that bitter cup, and bitter it is. Why would I drink the bitter when I could have sweet? The simple answer is that to me that which comes after the bitter is so much sweeter than anything else. That’s what He did, did He not? So I look onward, ever onward feeling that what they feel. Taking from them, at least a little of that which they seem unable to bare for much longer. Ahh, sweet alleviation they exclaim, not aloud rather with their eyes; those beautiful eyes, the windows to their soul.

  That is why I cry with those who cry and love those who have no one to love them, because I needed someone to cry with and there was none. I needed someone to hold, to embrace yet there was none. It was mostly because of me and my own choices, but I was still alone, and only He was there for me.

   So I know what hell is like. I've been there and back in a hand basket, and never again will I knowingly allow someone to travel that lonely road unaccompanied. I will walk that second mile with them because I can tell you that it is the longest mile. You ask me why? You tell me you don’t have to walk with me hand in hand down to this hell, for it is my path to walk. My answer: then what kind of person am I? How can I look Him, He who walked with me down this same path, in the eye and say that I refused to walk with another when He, not having to walk with me, willingly did so? If you can answer me how I may do that then I may consider it, but I know you won’t because there is no satisfying answer. So I choose to walk, because that is what He would have me do and I love Him; I love you.

                Love,

                The one walking beside you.